Michio Kaku Blackballs Rebecca Watson from Speaking at Skeptifest VII

This pervert purchased 11 copies of Skepchick’s nude calendar.

This latest bit of news comes by way of Greta Christina, who writes that she’s “been hearing these stories behind the scenes for a while now, but it was always told to me super secret off-the-record, so I couldn’t go public with this bombshell.” Now, citing an ironclad source who once served coffee to the secretary of an organizer who worked with Michio Kaku during prep for his Skeptifest talks, Christina confirms that the celebrated physicist did indeed blacklist Watson from sharing the stage with him:

“As I walked 10 paces back, I couldn’t hear everything they were saying, but I heard the name ‘Rebecca Watson.’

Kaku suddenly exploded with anger, startling organizers and members of his entourage who were testing the sound system ahead of his speech. “NO! Abso-fucking-lutely not!” the physicist raged. “God help me, if she’s going to be there, I won’t be there. I don’t want that stupid cunt anywhere near me!”

I couldn’t make out everything that was said, but as the organizers tried to placate him, Kaku was saying something about Watson being ‘like a human Dyson sphere, blotting out my star and siphoning its energy for her own gain,” and complaining that if he shared the stage with Watson, “I’d be like a Type I civilization, and she’d be a Type IV.”

When the organizers asked Kaku what they should tell Watson, Kaku waved dismissively. “Tell that bitch we left her hanging like space junk in a LaGrange point.”

So there you have it, folks. Patriarchy apologists and supporters of the Dawkins/Grothe/Tyson/Kaku tyranny have long laughed at any suggestion that there is an active campaign to silence Watson and deny women their rightful place in the pantheon of science and skepticism. But with the testimony of neutral observers like Christina and a cadre of 11th-rate bloggers confirming the stories, it’s become increasingly obvious that the men who occupy the highest spheres of atheism, science and skepticism not only loathe Rebecca Watson, they fear her. Doubtless Kaku imagined all the lucrative television specials and Coast to Coast AM appearances drying up in proportion to Watson’s rising prominence, for who wants to hear from the co-founder of string field theory when they could be hearing from the world’s preeminent feminist-skeptic?

9/11: How Rebecca Watson Defeated the Conspiracy Theorists

Along with the scenes of horror, the destruction of the World Trade Center, the start of two wars and the 3,000 lives lost, Sept. 11, 2001 also signaled the beginning of a new problem — thousands of fucking idiots taking to the internet with conspiracy theories and ill-advised rants about Israeli/U.S. government/Alex Rodriguez’s responsibility for the attacks.

Despite explanations from experts, denials from the government and a series of excellent magazine articles debunking the conspiracy theories, the outlandish claims persisted.

Even more distressing, it seemed as though the conspiracy movement was gaining traction, with several high-profile endorsements from luminaries like Joe Rogan.

Just when it seemed like nothing could stop the growing wave of conspiracies and Youtubetards polluting the internet with their stupidity, Rebecca Watson stepped in and accomplished what armies of engineers, demolitions experts and lesser skeptics could not.

The Great Elevator Hoax

Rebecca Watson singlehandedly destroyed the 9/11 conspiracy theory movement in one fell swoop, earning the thanks of Americans everywhere, and converting thousands of former conspiracy theorists into true skeptics.

How? With a single utterance: “Nine-eleven conspiracy theories are, like, fucking stupid.”

Mainstream scientists like Michio Kaku, Leonard Hofstadter and the Guys from Mythbusters couldn’t do it. Neither could a cadre of lesser bloggers and eleventh-rate skeptics, like PZ Myers, George Noory and Bill Nye the Science Guy. Where they all failed, Rebecca Watson succeeded.

And when it was all over, when the now-embarrassed former conspiracy theorists took down the last of their internet rants and Youtube videos, they declared their collective allegiance to Rebecca Watson and joined the proud ranks of Watsonistas.

As you mark 9/11 with somber ceremonies and quiet talks, dear readers, take a moment to think about Rebecca Watson and her selfless contribution in the name of science and skepticism. Watson is so humble that there’s not even a mention of this act on her official fan page, which she runs. But what kind of unofficial fan club would we be if we didn’t mark this occasion by giving thanks to Rebecca?

We leave you now with one of Rebecca’s most famous and thought-provoking quotes about 9/11:

I bristle at the signs and bumper stickers telling me to never forget, as though I were planning to. – Rebecca Watson